it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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