The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
