if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
