Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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