Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
