I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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