between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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