It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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