Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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