No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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