I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
