he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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