I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Randomize
