I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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