Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
