U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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