I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
