there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
