bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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