some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
