found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
