I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
