we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
