Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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