Yo dont text me then not text me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
