saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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