if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize