True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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