Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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