Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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