it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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