She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
