I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
