Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
