Will you blow on my dice?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
