Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
