Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

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  (330): i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels http://tfl.nu/84kp
  Replies (16) Good night (1191) Bad night (5330)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..

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  (612): I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket.. http://tfl.nu/9yr8
  Replies (7) Good night (901) Bad night (3714)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

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  (806): Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit. http://tfl.nu/p6mu
  Replies (9) Good night (2176) Bad night (1017)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.

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  (828): I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/gg69
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (2075)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...

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  (480): It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless... http://tfl.nu/qugn
  Replies (8) Good night (1946) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"

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  (603): You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet" http://tfl.nu/9891
  Replies (2) Good night (3584) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"

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  (252): she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN" http://tfl.nu/vt0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (599)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.

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  (484): siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape. http://tfl.nu/kj0n
  Replies (3) Good night (1514) Bad night (482)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just took the cheapest shot in your honor

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  (304): I just took the cheapest shot in your honor http://tfl.nu/u3ke
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.

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  (619): But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection. http://tfl.nu/g9u5
  Replies (18) Good night (693) Bad night (892)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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  (973): Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs. http://tfl.nu/4tj9
  Replies (9) Good night (785) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing

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  (907): I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing http://tfl.nu/5qyn
  Replies (11) Good night (847) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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  (774): preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/6ehv
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?

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  (443): He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian (443): And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun? http://tfl.nu/mgrv
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (161)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.

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  (440): being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day. http://tfl.nu/9xbm
  Replies (5) Good night (505) Bad night (133)

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