I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.