Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm

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(901): View more from Tennessee

My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.

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(530): View more from California

Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?

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(850): View more from Florida

and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B

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