so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
