found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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