it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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