so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so let's talk penis.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
