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Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
