I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
