omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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