I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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