I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
