my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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