Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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