Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
