Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize