between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
