He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
