Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
