Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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