I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
