Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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