You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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