Your tits are I can't wait for
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
