hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
