sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
