For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
