I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
