I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
