before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out