Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
