and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
