you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
