she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I smell stomach acid.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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