We need to rekindle our bromance
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I FOUND THE LEGS
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
