i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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