Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
