Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
