Its about making memories worth repressing
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
