Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
not ubering you a puppy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
