i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
