My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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